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The Invisible Disabilities Advocate® |
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The Wind Beneath My Wings
"A Husband's Quest to Help His Disabled Wife's Words Reach Out to Others"
The Invisible Disabilities Advocate Copyright © 2005
See Copyright Regulations Below.
IDA is NOT a legal authority, this article may NOT be used in ANY legal situations.
The Wind Beneath My Wings From the time I could talk and walk, I began to sing and dance! Life was a stage to me and anyone willing to watch became my audience. I got my first horse at the age of 10 and spent many afternoons riding, racing and even performing in shows. By 13, I had a job at a pet store. Later, I was a cheerleader, worked through high school and college, sang and danced in musicals, lifted weights, rode horses, was a model and obtained 3 college degrees. Although I had a history of a low immune
system and often struggled with a cold, flu or bronchitis, I still remained
active until 1991. At the age of 27, I lost the use of my extremities from the
ribs down and was diagnosed with Progressive Multiple Sclerosis. To be honest,
I figured I would just go home and rest for a couple of weeks and then return
to work. Nothing was going to keep me down! Sure, the wheelchair was a new
challenge, but I could still work and sing from the chair, so it really wasn't
going to stop me! Despite my determination, before I
knew it months passed and then years. I never recovered from the extreme
fatigue, headaches, pain, weakness, exhaustion, nausea, cognitive impairments
and dizziness that kept me from returning to work. It was now all that I could
do to get a shower or go to the doctor. I also found out that I had
Chronic-Late Lyme Disease from a tick bite I got at the age of 14. I did regain most of the use of my
legs, though it was very difficult to stand or walk. I remained unable to even
care for my daily needs. I met In 1994, we were married. He was my best
friend, my confidant and my advocate. When others tried to dispute what I was
going through, because to them I looked
good, When I was first diagnosed with the MS, I
wrote my thoughts on a sheet of paper and passed it out to my friends and
family in order to help them better understand my new life and
challenges. I continued to write here and there over the years in my journal
to help me cope with the adjustments and in effort to put into words my
frustrations and fears. One day, From the very beginning, we have received
notes from people telling us how much the site had been an encouragement and
comfort. What
amazed me was that I had thought I was the only one going through
these strains in relationships! Apparently, I was wrong! Not only was I not
alone, but we received an overwhelming number of visitors who told us, “You
have said exactly what I have been trying to say!” or “Now I know I am not
alone!” One lady wrote, “Terrific insights and communicated clearly...my
husband said it finally opened his eyes to what I had been trying to say all
these years. Thanks." Another even told us her husband got down on his
knees and asked for her forgiveness after he read the booklet! We want to continue to be a voice for those
living with illness and pain, for we are driven by our passion to send a
message to the world. We want everyone to see the determination and
fortitude in those
living with debilitating conditions. We long to stand on the mountain top to
shout to them, "What courage! What strength! What perseverance! We
commend you! You could give up! But you rise to fight! You are heroes!"
We want to let everyone know that even though our mountains may seem
overwhelming, we are still climbing!
In September 2005, I was presented with the Hal O’Leary Inspiration Award at a dinner hosted by the Colorado Rockies on Coors Field. This award is given to “individuals making a significant difference in the disabled community.” I feel this award gives reason to all my losses and pain, as it recognized those living with invisible disabilities. Although I continue to mourn the loss of my career and even the inability to do those things everyone else complains about (like cooking, shopping and cleaning), I want to thank my husband. I may no longer be dancing and singing in front of a beloved audience, but Wayne's compassion for this hurting community has created a platform for my thoughts to complete a greater purpose: Being a voice for those living with invisible disabilities. Without Wayne, there would still be so many lost without the words to verbalize to their loved ones what they are going through and need. Without him, so many relationships would still be broken. Without his countless hours of efforts, there would be no way my thoughts would ever reach out beyond my little journal. He is truly - The Wind Beneath My Wings.
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Copyright © 2006 The Invisible Disabilities Advocate. All Rights Reserved. IDA is a 501(c)(3) Non-Profit Organization.
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